Mrs. Joudrey’s Cat  is now uploaded after mediation between lawyers representing Rufus and myself. I have agreed in writing that the cat mentioned is entirely  a work  of fiction and all similarities to cats living or deceased is merely whimsey. He has agreed, in return, to leave my garden intact…Have  a listen!

Mrs. Joudrey’s Cat

Out there in the dark, there’s a malevolent spark

Striking terror in the whole community

Mrs. Joudrey’s unaware. I bet she doesn’t care

that her cat is threatening all our sanity…

 

Have you heard his evil purring, have you seen his shape, a blurring

Mrs. Joudrey’s cat out on his nightly prowl

His claws are sharp and longish, his head: shaped rather gongish,

and all night through; his sleep depriving howl

 

In the morning, out your door, something foreign on the floor

then you slip and slide and wind up on your back

something red and something green, a kidney or a spleen,

All courtesy of Mrs. Joudrey’s cat

 

I’d like to make a hat out of Mrs. Joudrey’s cat

Then I’d wander through the town, O, what a spree!

With Joudrey’s cat upon my brow, I would be the cat’s meow

And everyone would think the world of me

 

I wouldn’t use a gun, oh, that wouldn’t be as fun, no

As planning his demise in cunning ways

Perhaps some headphones to get started on our soon to be departed

playing nothing but ‘Metallica’ for days

 

In a pair of rubber pants, honey and red ants

That’s an interesting stimulant I’ve found

Then seal him in a pail and send it through the mail

That’s the way to show you’re not just foolin’ round

 

I would like to make a hat out of Mrs. Joudrey’s cat

Then I’d wander through the town, O, what a spree!

With Joudrey’s cat upon my brow, I would be the cat’s meow

Then everyone would think the world of me

(Don’t say you haven’t thought about it!)

Everyone would think the world of me

 

Reid Campbell  2012

for ‘RUBY ZWICKER’S RECIPE FOR HODGEPODGE’